Online dating etiquette after second date
There are actually two things to consider here – his children, and your potential children. As a man gets older, it becomes increasingly likely that he will have fathered some children along the way.
These children will take up his time, whether they live with him or he spends his weekends with them.
Now is not the time to play Truth or Dare, confess your sins, or to disclose your secret fantasies.
There is still plenty of “public domain” details left to discover about each other—no need to open the safe and reveal your classified information.
In reality, you’d be jumping the gun to take off running just yet.
For one thing, after just one date, you are still just getting warmed up.
He may be 45 and fit now, but when you’re reaching middle age, he might be classed as an OAP and will most likely suffer from the health issues that hit men of a certain age.
These problems have to become yours too if you’re to have a happy, understanding relationship.
In other words, too much physical intimacy on a second date often creates confusion at a time when you’re seeking clarity.
You will probably need to be prepared to be lower on his list of priorities sometimes, even if his children are grown up. If he doesn’t, are you prepared to sacrifice your desire for children to find love?
You might be fine with this, but it’s important to consider carefully. The last thing you should do is enter the relationship thinking ‘I’ll change his mind’ – you most probably won’t and it’s a huge gamble.
That’s not to say they will completely lack a youthful mindset: a study by Nickelodeon UK found that men remain ‘immature’ well into their early 40s, while women mature at an average age of 32 We use cultural references to express who we are and where we’ve come from.
If you find it odd that his favourite bands are Genesis and ELO, then you will need to decide whether you can get used to that, or whether you will feel increasingly isolated.
On the contrary, the purpose is to maximize your chances of creating a successful future relationship by pointing out potential hazards in the road.