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13-Oct-2019 19:52

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If anything, it’s too painful to look at head-on, so we look away. Particularly younger men need to be taught that this is not “cool” behavior, quite the opposite.Men can play a huge role here in teaching their sons. How many rapes and gang rapes have happened because some young men were afraid to stop it, or losing their place in the group because they interfered?And yet, conversations like this remain the third rail of the internet. Despite my best efforts to offer an open, honest, male response to sexual assault statistics, I got my ass handed to me. How can a man who is an ally strike the right tone much less make positive change? Other than that, maybe offer support, and try to be non-judgmental toward the victims.If a man proffers his thoughts on sexual assault without impeccable sensitivity and understanding he risks being called a victim blamer, rape apologist, or misogynist. How can we wrestle with the problem and talk about these issues without rancor, ad hominem attacks, or slippery slope arguments? My belief is that, for reasons previously explained, women — not men – are the best advocates for creating awareness about sexual harassment. I’m only pointing out that #Me Too is infinitely more powerful than, well, me. Fear of having to be grilled by the police, go through the court system, and remind herself of the assault. I don’t think so, but these days, the lines are blurry for even the most liberal men. But anything else (and sometimes even that) could be misinterpreted.If more young men grow up with the firm believe of zero tolerance, they might not be so hesitant to interfere.

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I see nothing wrong with a man letting out a quick whistle, and telling a woman that she is one beautiful woman – as long as that’s where it ends. Same when men make quick remarks about how hot a woman is to each other. And it also depends on how quickly it is dismissed, and how far it goes. I wanted to say something about being a happily married man, a father of a daughter, a dating coach for women.The good guys — the ones who would never commit sexual assault — can only throw up their hands, wondering how to avoid getting lumped in with the bad guys. Men are causing the problem, but are men the solution to the problem? The fact is: most of us tend not to think about issues until they directly impact us: Health care. Sexual assault creates a culture of fear, distrust, and wariness that millions of clueless men cannot grasp until watershed moments like this. It shines light on the horrors faced by women which most men cannot fathom. Rest assured we are equally horrified but don’t know how to express our support and create positive change.Which leaves pretty much every sympathetic man in a bit of a bind. Most men agree there should be consequences for perpetrators of sexual harassment. I wonder if I have anything in common with Weinstein, Ailes, and Trump. Oftentimes, people get away with this behavior not only because women do not report it, but also because men can turn a “blind eye” and ignore it.

Most men will never fully understand what it’s like to be objectified at a young age or repeatedly threatened by men of greater strength or power. Or struggle to square the staggering statistics with our own limited experience. The less other men ignore the issue, the less comfortable it will be for those people to behave that way (commit the crime).

It creates a swell of awareness that this behavior is more rampant than we knew. We’re half of society, and we all have to live together on this planet. The best thing men can express in this movement is a show of no tolerance for inappropriate sexual behavior.